Martha Stewart why do you always fail me?

Why does every Martha project that I try turn into something that looks like it was made by a mad man? Is it possible that Martha is setting me up for failure? In some not so passive but very aggressive way is she trying to make every inspiring crafty to fail miserably so they just continue to watch her in awe?


This theory began about ten years ago when Corinne and I set out to make x-mas cookies using a Martha recipe. They were cut out sugar cookies with icing. In hindsight I have no idea why we choose the Martha recipe for such a basic cookie, I think we figured it was the best. We were trying to impress. The cookies were a total disaster. They melted all over the pan turning our cookie cutter stars into lumpy blobs and our santas into turtles. But we pressed on continuing to make about 6 dozen super "crispy" oddly shaped cookies with runny sticky icing.

Now I do love to watch Martha especially her older show on Fine Living. Which brings me to my next Martha debacle. I'll just call them Martha's Balls. They are ornaments made with string that harden and then you coat them with glitter.

On the show they looked so easy to make. I thinks she might have even said "only a moron could fuck this project up". She blew up some small balloons and coated them with Pam. I didn't have Pam (this was my first mistake NEVER improvise with Martha) so I coated the balloons lightly with cooking oil. Then you wrap the balloons with string, after the string is secure coat with glue. Let dry and harden then pop the balloon and coat with glitter.

Now Martha dried her balls with a super intense ionic dryer of some sort for effect. But she said "if you don't have one of these fancy tools created at NASA especially for me, then let them dry for a few hours".

Well I let them dry overnight, but when I popped the balloon the string just collapsed into itself and turned into a sticky lumpy mess. Recognize a pattern here.

I will not give up on this project. I am buying Pam today and if that doesn't work I'm calling NASA.

What do you do when you have some extra time? Obviously not blog.

Maybe I've been feeling a little less than secure or maybe I am just a chronic procrastinator, but I have been avoiding the blog.

I have gotten a few things done. I finally finished the curtains that I have been planning for the better part of a year.



I think that they are rather snazzy. I need to find a solution for the under layer to get rid of the lace. Maybe a sheer or a roman shade. I'm not sure.

I also actually made a present for one of Lyd's friends. A cute little sparkly apron. Which I whipped together in under an hour with no pattern. If only I could say focused and motivated, I might be able to get more things done. My creative inspiration Allison may be able to help me with the hat I started to knit in 2003.

New motto: More creative projects Yes! More "Gavin and Stacey" No!

I should say that I also have been going to the gym religiously (four a week that's as religious as I get). And I have some noticed a few (small as they may be) positive changes. Now that I'm up to 3 miles, I want to get on some sort of 5k road race circuit for the spring with my exercise inspiration Corinne.

You know meet up in Poughkeepsie or some other random place for the weekend, run 3 miles then go for dinner and drinks. Sounds like motivation to me.

What do you do when you get fired from your dream job?

So I started my new job about a month ago, (mercury was in retrograde at the time). This astronomical fact was noted by my new employer. I should have run for the hills but I was too excited.

This was my dream job. My employers were sucessful authors/ visionaries/ personal restructurers. The setting was a beautiful location of Vermont, overlooking rolling hills in a refurbished 1830's farmhouse, with a boss who wears Couture. The anticipated projects were exciting. I would be an event planner/ copy editor/ administrative assistant/ production queen/ the overall go to girl. I was up for the task and rearing to go. I felt like finally everything was in line and I would get to do the job I always dreamed I was capable of doing.

These are but a few of the assignments I was given:

I planned an organic menu of four meals for forty people with the personal chef.

I trademarked a phrase and a book title.

I drove with one of my employers to Boston to pick up his car. And used my mad Boston skills to find the car shop that was hidden down a back alley. He is the craziest driver. I have driven with some crazy drivers, The Netherlands, Italy, Budapest and Liz Caulfield etc. I know crazy drivers when I see them. So I also got to see my life flashing before my eyes several times while on the time clock.

I picked up a deceased dogs ashes from a creepy pet funeral home.

I picked up one of my employers MRI.

Unfortunately my car broke down so I wasn't able to drive one of my employers to the dentist for a cleaning while she was on Valium to calm her nerves.

I edited a website daily.

I responded to a months worth of e-mails.

I made an appointment for the cat of my employers daughter who was suffering from an undisclosed illness. I have never seen nor know the age of this feline. When I called, the vet rightfully thought I was on crack.

I read and proofed 30 + stories about Transcendence from people all over the world. A very transcendent experience.

I drove an amazing Jaguar (to get inspected).

I was positive. I liked it. I was always busy and really felt like everything was going great.

Then I'm not sure what happened.

I forgot to turn the answering machine on when I left on Thursday.

I said that I couldn't drive to Boston on Sunday morning to drop one of the employers off at the airport.

Or maybe I am completely oblivious and just sucked.

But on Friday I got the can, I left graciously with one weeks extra pay and a boulder in my stomach. I cried like a baby on the way home.

And now I'm back to ground zero.

The worst part of all of this is I really wanted this to be great.

Tag a Tree

For the first time in a while I feel slightly ahead of the game. I started a job last week that I actually enjoy. I've been going to the gym. And for the first time ever I've managed to actually tag a tree pre-holiday rush. Never have I felt so organized.
It doesn't take much.

This is Steven and Lydia with our x-mas tree 2008.
I think we are more excited about Christmas this year because for the first time we will celebrate at our home. We will get to wake up Christmas morning and sit in our PJ's, opening presents and drinking coffee with Baily's. We won't have to rush around like lunatics in a mad frenzy to get to RI in time and we will get to plan the day on our terms. This means mostly eating, drinking and being merry without feeling the compulsion to clean for five hours of the day.


This is Lydia with our tree 2014, I really could not see getting it today, since the trees were a flat rate of $32.00. Steven humor went undetected when he asked the woman whose was manning the information table, "do you have any Canadian Trees?"

When we pick up our tree, December 14th I can only hope that the road is this clear.
Gorgeous little x-mas tree gumdrops.

Yes, it seems that the Lord himself has blessed our tree. We will have a joyous Christmas after all.

Welcome Naomi !!!!!

I could not have been more excited today when I opened my e-mail and realized that Liz and Ivano had a baby girl yesterday. I had a dream a few months ago and in it I knew if they were having a boy or girl. I told Liz, but now I have no idea what I dreamt. It doesn't matter, after seeing these pictures it seems like I've known forever that Naomi was coming.


I'm so happy for Liz and Ivano. I'm so excited that Naomi is going to have the luxury of a rockin' mom and a super hero of a dad. I'm also just so proud of my dear friend because she has followed her dreams unrelentingly. She has had more adventures, lived in more places and befriended more people than most people will in their lifetimes. (can you tell I dig this girl?)
I have always said that I want to raise Lydia to be like Liz. To have great confidence in herself and her friends and to take giant risks in order to fulfill her dreams. I do hope that Lydia doesn't break as many bones as Liz has in this pursuit. I wish the Daniele family all the happiness and adventures that they can handle. And take your time kids, it will be five years later before you know it.

Back to School Rules!

I don't really remember when I actually felt this way as a student. I'm sure somewhere before third grade I was totally excited about starting school. Don't get me wrong I did enjoy a lot of it, I liked the social aspect, I loved music class as a kid (oh Don Gato was a cat...) and I loved art. But I remember also counting the days left of summer vacation like it was an execution stay. So I have to say I was a little surprised when Lyd got up at 6:00am like it was x-mas morning and was bouncing with excitement on the first day of school.

She picked out her smart new outfit and was rearing to go. I on the other hand was a bit of a mess. Yes, I was that mom who was crying during all school sings rendition of "This Land in Your Land". And of course out of all the kids mine was the one who seemed perfectly content to sit in the middle of her new B.F.F. on the auditorium floor while I'm ten rows back trying to wipe the mascara from my cheeks with an old supermarket receipt from the bottom of my pocketbook.
Steven handled it much better. But I was amazed at how impressed he was of the school and the administration. I love Lyd's school and think it's a great fit for her. It's small (one class per grade) and it has some diversity which is rare in VT.
But I swear you'd think Steven grew up during the great depression or in some sort of training school the way he was acting. "Wow they have a music program and art classes, that is really great, she's gonna love this." and "There are so many windows and natural light, it's really nice in here." Although he really hates that the kids don't wear uniforms and has managed to bring the topic up with almost every parent or school employee he meets. So everything seems to be falling into place. It has been only two days so far. And this morning on the third day Lydia asked over breakfast with squinted, suspicious eyes...."so what are you going to do all day while I'm working hard at school?" Steven looked over with the same expression.

I on the other hand just sipped my ice coffee, School does Rule.

End of Summer

Where did the summer go?
I'm really having a tough time grasping the idea that Lydia starts kindergarten tomorrow. Not only does it seem that the summer has flown by, but I also am really having a tough time with the idea that my child is no longer a preschooler. I've come to the realization that this isn't really about her. She is more than ready to start full time school and thanks to grandma she's got the wardrobe to prove it.
This is totally about me.
The past five years have let me be a mom. Everything else that I have done was just extra-curricular. If I wasn't happy with my job I could fall back on the idea that it was just temporary until Lydia was in school. If I got a bad grade in a class it was the result not having enough time to study. When I stopped running and working out it was because it didn't seem like I could fit it in. I now have a great schedule with tons of free time to work out 5 days a week and to study all afternoon.
But I'm not so sure I'm ready for my old life after all. I know I should just get over it and be happy for god's sake, but I'm totally bummed. I'm going to miss the girl. I feel a little weird watching Arthur alone. This is how I feel in this moment, we'll see how I feel tomorrow after my first full day of freedom.
Here are some high lights of the summer.
FARM MADNESS

Chalk Outside the Museum Proud Soccer Girl
Proud Soccer Dad
None of this anxiety is helped by the fact that Roxy, my cat is on her last legs and has an ominous vet appointment tomorrow after I drop off Lydia for her first day of school.

Yes, I am the mom who kills the cat on her daughter's first day of school. How many years of therapy will it take to right that one.

When it's not raining we...

Pick blueberries. We are trying to freeze at least twenty pounds of blueberries this year. Last year we froze 15 pounds and ran out in October. We were well on our way this year we already had about 8 pounds in the freezer when our fridge died and we lost them all. We are now back to ground zero. Not that I mind going back to Green Mountain Orchard, were there is always something yummy being baked.





Spend time with friends. My dear friend Allison and her sons brought Lydia and I to the Cheshire Fair last week. The kids had a great time. They got to see a lot of animals and pretend to farm
Lydia was more than happy to go on every ride possible for a child of her height. I swear that girl worries me. I think it's great that she is so adventurous, I just wish she had a little bit of apprehension.

Today it's raining, again. Off to the library.

Camp Crazy!

So day camp is officially over.

My two weeks of alone time is done.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself because instead of sitting around all day and watching A & E I actually got some things done.

During this time I single handedly cleaned the attic.

I read three books, (I recommend The Wishbones by Tom Perrotta ).

I cleaned out our bedroom closet (there were still things in there unpacked from when we moved in 2006).

I not only got the roofers to call me back but they came AND actually went on the roof and replaced some loose slates and fixed things.

The garden looks somewhat healthy.

And when it wasn't down pouring, I exercised.

Also Steven and I spent one day together alone, we went out for sushi and took a mid day nap.

For a slacker like me I'm pretty happy with my accomplishments.



And from what I can make out Lydia had a good time too. When she wasn't too exhausted to speak she told vivid tales of the "mystery players". From what I can piece together these are two camp counselors in costume who the kids believe are people who live in the woods and only come out when the they are good. She also was super excited because we opted to let her have the lunch, which is basically the summer camp version of school lunch. Taco day and chocolate milk were the highlights.
But the biggest change I witnessed was here new alter ego:
"Camp Crazy Girl".

This is the child that now dances around and says "oh yeah, oh yeah!", like Vinnie Bobarino, "we bad, we bad", usually with her thumbs in the air.
She also goes "Ugh!" a lot when kicking a ball or high fiving someone. It's something between WWF meets Saturday Night Fever. And this morning at breakfast she yelled "Awwwsum" while eating pancakes. Well that might actually come from me.

Where does she get the stamina?

I worked the last two nights from 9:00pm - 7:30 am, and although I got to sleep some I can understand why I'm a little tired. But still I am always totally floored at the fact that Lydia can pretty much be on the go from 6 am - 8:30 at night. I don't know how she does it.

This morning she had her yearly physical, where the doctor said basically she's super healthy (this in itself is amazing to me). She had three huge shots, which made her a little sluggish for about 5 minutes (sort of like if you shot a humongous grizzly with one tiny tranquilizer dart).

After that we went to the grocery store where Lydia not only helped me with my list but also helped me put the groceries away. After that we went to the pool and she got to swim and play with friends.

Then at 3:45 we picked up her friend Sebastian and went to the library where we built bugs out of food (well candy). It's now 7:00 and I am officially done but the gal keeps truckin'. She wants to act out a story and suggests we take stills. Here's her story:

I WANT TO CATCH AND EAT A BIRD by Lydia

I am sad.
I am hungry.
Get over here I want to eat you.
I'm getting angry.

I'm coming to get you. Yeah! I've caught you I'm so excited.

Yummy in my tummy! Ugh, I'm full.

And when I think of stamina and see this picture I realize that I too have had serious stamina at some points in my life. Strolling out of some dive bar after closing and this photo isn't so unique. I've got to get this girl into sports or we're in trouble.

Camp!

Who knew camp could be so much fun.
I myself never really enjoyed camp. Although I wasn't sent to camp until about the age of ten. I was the kind of kid that would rather sit in a dark room with the curtains drawn watching Gilligan's Island through Three's Company on hot summer days. Maybe it's good that I am starting her young at this camp business so she doesn't already know how addictive Days of Our Lives is, and that eating an entire half gallon of chocolate chip ice cream before lunch is actually pretty easy.

But after one day she seems to love it. Swimming, crafts, baseball ( she was so excited to tell me she hit two balls really hard, now that's one skill she will never learn from either of her parents), archery (ditto) all in one day.

And best of all I have free time to do all the things that I love to do. I exercised. I got my hair cut. I tried on expensive estate jewelry at the fancy store in town. I pawned through vintage clothes. Now I'm going to start cleaning out our attic, not so much fun but much easier without the child. Granted it's hard to find an episode of Gilligan's on anymore, but I glad I'm not just watching TV. Well it is only day two, I've got 8 more of these to dive into the ice cream.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!
This one goes out to my favorite Mediterranean queen, living in gorgeous Italy. You can take the gal out of the U.S., but I know she's still whipping up stars and stripes cool whip cakes and wishing she was back in the states to watch the fireworks.
And since she is a "Super Woman" and almost a "Super Mamma", this one is dedicated to you!
We miss you Liz!
Brattleboro Parade. There were many great bands, tons of firetrucks and lots of flags. But this was by far my best picture. We got to see lot's of friends in the parade. Jeremy and Sebastian rocked! But I swear there are tens times more people in the parade than watching it. That's OK more candy for us.

Consumer Anonymous or Bust

I have always been a terrible consumer.
Actually that's not right at all I'm a wonderful consumer, I'm just terrible at abstaining from consumerism.
I have seriously toned it down a lot.
Mostly from necessity, now that I have a growing child and an aging house I no longer have the luxury of shopping all the time. Also I live in an area now with no downtown crossing and cheap knock off stores.
I have become much more practical.
I utter phrases like, "will I wear this more than ten times this season?" and "will this skirt go with at least one pair of shoes I own already and three tops?".
It has really gotten sad. Gone are the days of "this canary yellow wicker purse and magenta sequins top really don't match anything I own but, I must have them because if I don't get them I'll be sad and dream about them and when I return after much distress they will be SOLD to some other cool chickadee with more sense than me."

Now you will see how much I have really changed for better or worse.

Recently the family went to Target in search of a few "needed" items. I made a list. Lydia needed some supplies for camp. A backpack, water bottle and towel were on the list. She got to pick them out and thank god we walked away with Hello Kitty and not the Bratz. I also wanted to pick up a set of sheets and a few other household items. I got the new David Sedaris book, also on list but not a necessity. I bought a t-shirt and a dress, (impulse buys yes, but averaged into list because I knew there would be something I couldn't live without). All in all a pretty successful trip. I didn't buy storage bins, something I usually always feel the need to get because we have so much clutter.
This is where it gets messy. As we are walking toward the register the child is grabbing everything and anything she can get her hands on. She already has a bunch of cool stuff that she picked out! But she wants more. MORE! Veruca Salt would be proud!
Steven ended up getting her a pair of maryjane's for "school" in the fall. And she was crying as we left the store with a ton of stuff for her.
It's gotten out of hand. I have turned our child into a total consumer also. I love to buy things for her. There have been more times than I can count that I have gone out specifically looking for an item for myself such as rain boots and returned with a sundress or purse for my child. I have created this situation.
Case in point today we went into Verde looking for a much needed sunhat for me, we walked out with a little chipmunk puppet for Lydia. This might not seem like a big deal but it is a constant occurrence.

So I have decided as of today July 2, 2008, I will not buy anything, not a thing for myself or Lydia that we don't need, for one month. That means sunscreen = yes, little cute sundress with embroidered cherries = no.
I feel like one of the many who have stopped eating all carbs in order get their eating habits in control.

It seems easy now but wait till the hot pizza/ cute sandels are under our nose, I know it won't be easy.
I'll keep you posted.

I'm back... so now what the hell am I going to do?

So I am officially done with going to RI to help my grandmother. We went on vacation last week and I just did three overnights in a row at my new job. Now what the heck am I supposed to do? I have some grand plans. Paint the house. Work on the garden. Start running again ( I see your eyes rolling). Write a little ( OK your eyes will get stuck like that if you keep it up). I know it hasn't been long but I already feel like I'm slipping down the slippery slope of laziness. Lydia on the other hand stays busy while I procrastinate. This is what I find on my camera after a day of loafing around the house.

Photo shoot ala Roxy cat.
Lion decked out also at photo shoot, in Steven's glasses.
Close up: Lydia, lion and fudgicle smears.

I guess the scary thing (or exciting thing if your an optimist) is that I am entering a new chapter in my life. I'm figuring out what to go to school for, RN or MFA? Lydia will be in full time school soon, and since I do overnight shifts I will have my days free. I know it's been one day of freedom but I am caged in by the future, (now even I'm rolling my eyes).

What a way to start the summer!

Our summer has begun. We just got back from staying with Corinne and Eric in Wellfleet. Usually it rains the entire time that we go on vacation. But this time we totally lucked out. It was in the mid seventies all week with crystal blue skies. We all had the time of our lives. Never has our family had such an amazing vacation. Lydia like her mum and dad totally adores Corinne and Eric. And they were as usual the bestest hosts.
I felt like P-Diddy most days because we hung out on the most amazing beach in Truro rarely coming into contact with anyone else. It was like our own private beach, hanging with our entourage.
The water was crisp but totally swimable. Lydia, the fearless of course ran full force into the water upon every arrival.
The happy family didn't get too sunburned fortunately.

Lydia totally loves Eric. What's not to love, outside of Corinne he's the funniest person she knows.
Eric and Steven ( new B.F.F.E.) also had a great time together, golfing and fishing. Lobsters and oysters for dinner, doesn't get much better.
And for probably the most astonishing event of the trip: for the first time in our seventeen years of friendship I was chauffeured by my learner's permitted friend. I'm so proud. I'm thinking a ladies road trip is in our future.

We had the greatest time.

We really needed this vacation.

Not for one second did I take our trip for granted.

The only sad part was saying goodbye.

I wish we lived closer so we could just randomly be together.

It was just so nice to hang out and the pristine surroundings didn't hurt.

Thanks again to the greatest hosts, you are so sweet, funny, gorgeous (I'm serious but I also really want to get invited back).

Happy Birthday/ Fathers Day

Yesterday was Steven's Birthday and today is Fathers Day. Yesterday we gave him a bunch of presents but none was more prized than this Arsenal Jersey.
Well... maybe not as prized as seeing his first born sporting a matching uniform. I think I know for sure what Steven might have looked like as a child now.
We had a great day at Jamaica State Park with Jim, Mary, Dominic and the boys. As you can see the shirt has yet to come off.
I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of this jersey.