Martha Stewart why do you always fail me?

Why does every Martha project that I try turn into something that looks like it was made by a mad man? Is it possible that Martha is setting me up for failure? In some not so passive but very aggressive way is she trying to make every inspiring crafty to fail miserably so they just continue to watch her in awe?


This theory began about ten years ago when Corinne and I set out to make x-mas cookies using a Martha recipe. They were cut out sugar cookies with icing. In hindsight I have no idea why we choose the Martha recipe for such a basic cookie, I think we figured it was the best. We were trying to impress. The cookies were a total disaster. They melted all over the pan turning our cookie cutter stars into lumpy blobs and our santas into turtles. But we pressed on continuing to make about 6 dozen super "crispy" oddly shaped cookies with runny sticky icing.

Now I do love to watch Martha especially her older show on Fine Living. Which brings me to my next Martha debacle. I'll just call them Martha's Balls. They are ornaments made with string that harden and then you coat them with glitter.

On the show they looked so easy to make. I thinks she might have even said "only a moron could fuck this project up". She blew up some small balloons and coated them with Pam. I didn't have Pam (this was my first mistake NEVER improvise with Martha) so I coated the balloons lightly with cooking oil. Then you wrap the balloons with string, after the string is secure coat with glue. Let dry and harden then pop the balloon and coat with glitter.

Now Martha dried her balls with a super intense ionic dryer of some sort for effect. But she said "if you don't have one of these fancy tools created at NASA especially for me, then let them dry for a few hours".

Well I let them dry overnight, but when I popped the balloon the string just collapsed into itself and turned into a sticky lumpy mess. Recognize a pattern here.

I will not give up on this project. I am buying Pam today and if that doesn't work I'm calling NASA.

What do you do when you have some extra time? Obviously not blog.

Maybe I've been feeling a little less than secure or maybe I am just a chronic procrastinator, but I have been avoiding the blog.

I have gotten a few things done. I finally finished the curtains that I have been planning for the better part of a year.



I think that they are rather snazzy. I need to find a solution for the under layer to get rid of the lace. Maybe a sheer or a roman shade. I'm not sure.

I also actually made a present for one of Lyd's friends. A cute little sparkly apron. Which I whipped together in under an hour with no pattern. If only I could say focused and motivated, I might be able to get more things done. My creative inspiration Allison may be able to help me with the hat I started to knit in 2003.

New motto: More creative projects Yes! More "Gavin and Stacey" No!

I should say that I also have been going to the gym religiously (four a week that's as religious as I get). And I have some noticed a few (small as they may be) positive changes. Now that I'm up to 3 miles, I want to get on some sort of 5k road race circuit for the spring with my exercise inspiration Corinne.

You know meet up in Poughkeepsie or some other random place for the weekend, run 3 miles then go for dinner and drinks. Sounds like motivation to me.