This theory began about ten years ago when Corinne and I set out to make x-mas cookies using a Martha recipe. They were cut out sugar cookies with icing. In hindsight I have no idea why we choose the Martha recipe for such a basic cookie, I think we figured it was the best. We were trying to impress. The cookies were a total disaster. They melted all over the pan turning our cookie cutter stars into lumpy blobs and our santas into turtles. But we pressed on continuing to make about 6 dozen super "crispy" oddly shaped cookies with runny sticky icing.
Now I do love to watch Martha especially her older show on Fine Living. Which brings me to my next Martha debacle. I'll just call them Martha's Balls. They are ornaments made with string that harden and then you coat them with glitter.
On the show they looked so easy to make. I thinks she might have even said "only a moron could fuck this project up". She blew up some small balloons and coated them with Pam. I didn't have Pam (this was my first mistake NEVER improvise with Martha) so I coated the balloons lightly with cooking oil. Then you wrap the balloons with string, after the string is secure coat with glue. Let dry and harden then pop the balloon and coat with glitter.
Now Martha dried her balls with a super intense ionic dryer of some sort for effect. But she said "if you don't have one of these fancy tools created at NASA especially for me, then let them dry for a few hours".Well I let them dry overnight, but when I popped the balloon the string just collapsed into itself and turned into a sticky lumpy mess. Recognize a pattern here.
I will not give up on this project. I am buying Pam today and if that doesn't work I'm calling NASA.
2 comments:
I tried this project once with a similar result. It is definitely a conspiracy.
These are awesome. I would love to use your pic & some of your writing in my upcoming CraftFail book. Email me at heather at craftfail dot com to let me know if you would be interested!
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