The Blame Game

It's comforting and satisfying.
It takes the edge off.
It kills time.
It's liberating.
Am I talking about an icy cold margarita or a plate of hot brownies?
No, I'm talking about the Blame Game. Mine and most peoples favorite pastime. There is nothing I love more than sitting around and talking about my woes while blaming a list of people and institutions:

1) The President- (while I can't blame him for the fact that I was watching American Idol, I can blame him for giving a shout out on the program) I blame him for most of my problems related to money, insecurity about my world, the future, etc.

2)My Mother- I blame her for everything. I know typical. But seriously, I blame her for instilling a complete sense of insecurity in me, weight, men, intelligence, mothering, the whole lot. She's the easiest person I know personally to blame so she gets most of it.

3) Bad drivers- totally stress me out, "passing on the right, shame on you"

4) Little House on the Prairie- How dare you Ingall's be so darn positive when your life was such a nightmare? You gave a whole generation false hope. Mainly my generation.



Now I will show you the blame game played by others.



My Grandma blames everything on my mother (ya see people). It's actually pretty funny because most of it is unprovoked, I just can't help but finding humor in it. My Mother took my grandmothers hairdryer away from her because she was using it for things like warming the bed before she got into it by laying it under the covers and leaving the room for an hour. She also used it to dry clothing and heat cold coffee. But ever since then if anything in the house is lost keys, pocketbook, the newspaper, her toothbrush she blames my mom. It's brilliant. Even though she has lost almost all of her memory, she remembers enough to play the Blame Game.



Lydia places the blame for her unhappiness on many things. She blames the cat for not being "a real pet". She blames Lion for giving her the hiccups . She blames "a mouse" whenever I find an unexplained mess. And of course she blames me for many things: no siblings, being mean to Daddy, not letting her wear short skirts without undies and the list is growing.

So this is where the blame game gets complicated. I don't mind playing when other people are at fault, but when I have to take on the weight it's a whole other issue.

There has got to be a way of pinning this on my mom.