I know better than to diss Saints. I was brought up Catholic. Enough said, so this isn't about putting down Saints, not by any means. I've just noticed as of late that G.G. has been praying an awful lot. She's always been an avid prayer, but it's gotten a little hard core. She is 95 so it's obviously gotten her somewhere. I began to notice that she starts to pray whenever she gets in the car with me. I don't feel like she has no confidence in me and to tell you the truth I welcome the help. We are in RI after all. She also prays before she reads the newspaper, can you blame her. She prays before taking a shower, biggest household hazard. But my favorite is when she loses something. Anything. Hearing aids. Glasses. Girdle. The Butter. You've gotta get in touch with good old St. Anthony. I'm telling you this never fails. My entire family uses this favorite Saint of all things lost. You just say something like "God dammit, St. Anthony can you help me find my freakin keys." And the next thing you know your looking behind the toilet there they are. I'm telling you it's a MIRACLE.
Since St. Anthony has brought us so much success I decided to find out about some other Patron Saints. Now I wish I had known that St. Martha (?) is the patron Saint of waitresses. Where was she when I dropped that glass of red wine on the bride? Then there is St. Fiarce, the patron of venereal diseases. I mean what did that guy do to get that job. There is also a Patron Saint for brewers, schoolchildren (I don't know about homeschoolers), and grave diggers.
Now if only St. Anthony can help me find my mind?
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2 comments:
My personal favorite is St.Denis who among other things is against frenzy, and conveniently, is also Jeremy's uncle.
is there a patron saint of mothers who are losing their minds, and memories, too, for that matter?!
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