I'm a body hater. I don't hate anyone else's body.
I'm not very angry at mine at the moment either, but I have been a serious body hater in the past. I believe this form of self destructive behavior should be treated like any other debilitating behavior. You might be in remission, but if you were a body hater there is always a body hater in you. .
Of course I still have self doubt. But I like myself now and unless I'm trying on bathing suits I'm fine with me. I've already wasted enough time and energy, no more.
When I was pregnant with Lydia I was terrified to have either a boy or girl. A boy baby because of the unknown territory . A girl baby because of the danger of the known terrain. I knew one thing for sure, I was going to do anything possible to prevent my child from being body obsessed. I would raise a strong, healthy, happy person.
The words fat and diet were stripped from our vocabulary. I never put myself down in front of Lydia and I try not to let anyone else do either. I talk about exercise as a thing that helps you to fell good inside and out.
So when my 5 year old daughter walked into the kitchen and said, "I'm exercising in the living room", I replied "that's great sweetie, I bet it feels good to dance around." Then a steam engine appeared from nowhere and plowed me over, "I'm exercising to get skinny, I don't want to be fat."
After about five minutes of a very poor, unscripted, mishmash of a lecture Lydia says, "your just trying to make me feel good."
So... I checked out four books today from the library 101 Ways To Help Your Daughter Love Here Body, The Confident Child, Reviving Ophelia and How To Mother A Successful Daughter.
I'll let you in on my plan of action once I've gotten through these books. If anything it may improve my lecture.
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2 comments:
It may improve your lecture, or it may just introduce a lot of excess psychobabble.
You love her the way she is and you tell her that and really, that's the best you can do.
You are a great mom... it's society making the mistakes.
In our house, Matty follows me around the house pointing and laughing - 'you fat Mommy -- hahaha, you fat' and running at full speed at my belly. I am reliving my childhood with my brothers, though the only difference is that they don't (I think) live in a totally disfunctional and angry household. So go figure; I keep telling them both we love people and want them to have healthy bodies, no matter the shape, AND we don't laugh or make fun of people for their appearance, but they still think fat people (i.e. me) are funny. Sarah knows better than to laugh and point, but Matty not so much.
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