Martha Stewart why do you always fail me?

Why does every Martha project that I try turn into something that looks like it was made by a mad man? Is it possible that Martha is setting me up for failure? In some not so passive but very aggressive way is she trying to make every inspiring crafty to fail miserably so they just continue to watch her in awe?


This theory began about ten years ago when Corinne and I set out to make x-mas cookies using a Martha recipe. They were cut out sugar cookies with icing. In hindsight I have no idea why we choose the Martha recipe for such a basic cookie, I think we figured it was the best. We were trying to impress. The cookies were a total disaster. They melted all over the pan turning our cookie cutter stars into lumpy blobs and our santas into turtles. But we pressed on continuing to make about 6 dozen super "crispy" oddly shaped cookies with runny sticky icing.

Now I do love to watch Martha especially her older show on Fine Living. Which brings me to my next Martha debacle. I'll just call them Martha's Balls. They are ornaments made with string that harden and then you coat them with glitter.

On the show they looked so easy to make. I thinks she might have even said "only a moron could fuck this project up". She blew up some small balloons and coated them with Pam. I didn't have Pam (this was my first mistake NEVER improvise with Martha) so I coated the balloons lightly with cooking oil. Then you wrap the balloons with string, after the string is secure coat with glue. Let dry and harden then pop the balloon and coat with glitter.

Now Martha dried her balls with a super intense ionic dryer of some sort for effect. But she said "if you don't have one of these fancy tools created at NASA especially for me, then let them dry for a few hours".

Well I let them dry overnight, but when I popped the balloon the string just collapsed into itself and turned into a sticky lumpy mess. Recognize a pattern here.

I will not give up on this project. I am buying Pam today and if that doesn't work I'm calling NASA.

What do you do when you have some extra time? Obviously not blog.

Maybe I've been feeling a little less than secure or maybe I am just a chronic procrastinator, but I have been avoiding the blog.

I have gotten a few things done. I finally finished the curtains that I have been planning for the better part of a year.



I think that they are rather snazzy. I need to find a solution for the under layer to get rid of the lace. Maybe a sheer or a roman shade. I'm not sure.

I also actually made a present for one of Lyd's friends. A cute little sparkly apron. Which I whipped together in under an hour with no pattern. If only I could say focused and motivated, I might be able to get more things done. My creative inspiration Allison may be able to help me with the hat I started to knit in 2003.

New motto: More creative projects Yes! More "Gavin and Stacey" No!

I should say that I also have been going to the gym religiously (four a week that's as religious as I get). And I have some noticed a few (small as they may be) positive changes. Now that I'm up to 3 miles, I want to get on some sort of 5k road race circuit for the spring with my exercise inspiration Corinne.

You know meet up in Poughkeepsie or some other random place for the weekend, run 3 miles then go for dinner and drinks. Sounds like motivation to me.

What do you do when you get fired from your dream job?

So I started my new job about a month ago, (mercury was in retrograde at the time). This astronomical fact was noted by my new employer. I should have run for the hills but I was too excited.

This was my dream job. My employers were sucessful authors/ visionaries/ personal restructurers. The setting was a beautiful location of Vermont, overlooking rolling hills in a refurbished 1830's farmhouse, with a boss who wears Couture. The anticipated projects were exciting. I would be an event planner/ copy editor/ administrative assistant/ production queen/ the overall go to girl. I was up for the task and rearing to go. I felt like finally everything was in line and I would get to do the job I always dreamed I was capable of doing.

These are but a few of the assignments I was given:

I planned an organic menu of four meals for forty people with the personal chef.

I trademarked a phrase and a book title.

I drove with one of my employers to Boston to pick up his car. And used my mad Boston skills to find the car shop that was hidden down a back alley. He is the craziest driver. I have driven with some crazy drivers, The Netherlands, Italy, Budapest and Liz Caulfield etc. I know crazy drivers when I see them. So I also got to see my life flashing before my eyes several times while on the time clock.

I picked up a deceased dogs ashes from a creepy pet funeral home.

I picked up one of my employers MRI.

Unfortunately my car broke down so I wasn't able to drive one of my employers to the dentist for a cleaning while she was on Valium to calm her nerves.

I edited a website daily.

I responded to a months worth of e-mails.

I made an appointment for the cat of my employers daughter who was suffering from an undisclosed illness. I have never seen nor know the age of this feline. When I called, the vet rightfully thought I was on crack.

I read and proofed 30 + stories about Transcendence from people all over the world. A very transcendent experience.

I drove an amazing Jaguar (to get inspected).

I was positive. I liked it. I was always busy and really felt like everything was going great.

Then I'm not sure what happened.

I forgot to turn the answering machine on when I left on Thursday.

I said that I couldn't drive to Boston on Sunday morning to drop one of the employers off at the airport.

Or maybe I am completely oblivious and just sucked.

But on Friday I got the can, I left graciously with one weeks extra pay and a boulder in my stomach. I cried like a baby on the way home.

And now I'm back to ground zero.

The worst part of all of this is I really wanted this to be great.

Tag a Tree

For the first time in a while I feel slightly ahead of the game. I started a job last week that I actually enjoy. I've been going to the gym. And for the first time ever I've managed to actually tag a tree pre-holiday rush. Never have I felt so organized.
It doesn't take much.

This is Steven and Lydia with our x-mas tree 2008.
I think we are more excited about Christmas this year because for the first time we will celebrate at our home. We will get to wake up Christmas morning and sit in our PJ's, opening presents and drinking coffee with Baily's. We won't have to rush around like lunatics in a mad frenzy to get to RI in time and we will get to plan the day on our terms. This means mostly eating, drinking and being merry without feeling the compulsion to clean for five hours of the day.


This is Lydia with our tree 2014, I really could not see getting it today, since the trees were a flat rate of $32.00. Steven humor went undetected when he asked the woman whose was manning the information table, "do you have any Canadian Trees?"

When we pick up our tree, December 14th I can only hope that the road is this clear.
Gorgeous little x-mas tree gumdrops.

Yes, it seems that the Lord himself has blessed our tree. We will have a joyous Christmas after all.

Welcome Naomi !!!!!

I could not have been more excited today when I opened my e-mail and realized that Liz and Ivano had a baby girl yesterday. I had a dream a few months ago and in it I knew if they were having a boy or girl. I told Liz, but now I have no idea what I dreamt. It doesn't matter, after seeing these pictures it seems like I've known forever that Naomi was coming.


I'm so happy for Liz and Ivano. I'm so excited that Naomi is going to have the luxury of a rockin' mom and a super hero of a dad. I'm also just so proud of my dear friend because she has followed her dreams unrelentingly. She has had more adventures, lived in more places and befriended more people than most people will in their lifetimes. (can you tell I dig this girl?)
I have always said that I want to raise Lydia to be like Liz. To have great confidence in herself and her friends and to take giant risks in order to fulfill her dreams. I do hope that Lydia doesn't break as many bones as Liz has in this pursuit. I wish the Daniele family all the happiness and adventures that they can handle. And take your time kids, it will be five years later before you know it.

Back to School Rules!

I don't really remember when I actually felt this way as a student. I'm sure somewhere before third grade I was totally excited about starting school. Don't get me wrong I did enjoy a lot of it, I liked the social aspect, I loved music class as a kid (oh Don Gato was a cat...) and I loved art. But I remember also counting the days left of summer vacation like it was an execution stay. So I have to say I was a little surprised when Lyd got up at 6:00am like it was x-mas morning and was bouncing with excitement on the first day of school.

She picked out her smart new outfit and was rearing to go. I on the other hand was a bit of a mess. Yes, I was that mom who was crying during all school sings rendition of "This Land in Your Land". And of course out of all the kids mine was the one who seemed perfectly content to sit in the middle of her new B.F.F. on the auditorium floor while I'm ten rows back trying to wipe the mascara from my cheeks with an old supermarket receipt from the bottom of my pocketbook.
Steven handled it much better. But I was amazed at how impressed he was of the school and the administration. I love Lyd's school and think it's a great fit for her. It's small (one class per grade) and it has some diversity which is rare in VT.
But I swear you'd think Steven grew up during the great depression or in some sort of training school the way he was acting. "Wow they have a music program and art classes, that is really great, she's gonna love this." and "There are so many windows and natural light, it's really nice in here." Although he really hates that the kids don't wear uniforms and has managed to bring the topic up with almost every parent or school employee he meets. So everything seems to be falling into place. It has been only two days so far. And this morning on the third day Lydia asked over breakfast with squinted, suspicious eyes...."so what are you going to do all day while I'm working hard at school?" Steven looked over with the same expression.

I on the other hand just sipped my ice coffee, School does Rule.

End of Summer

Where did the summer go?
I'm really having a tough time grasping the idea that Lydia starts kindergarten tomorrow. Not only does it seem that the summer has flown by, but I also am really having a tough time with the idea that my child is no longer a preschooler. I've come to the realization that this isn't really about her. She is more than ready to start full time school and thanks to grandma she's got the wardrobe to prove it.
This is totally about me.
The past five years have let me be a mom. Everything else that I have done was just extra-curricular. If I wasn't happy with my job I could fall back on the idea that it was just temporary until Lydia was in school. If I got a bad grade in a class it was the result not having enough time to study. When I stopped running and working out it was because it didn't seem like I could fit it in. I now have a great schedule with tons of free time to work out 5 days a week and to study all afternoon.
But I'm not so sure I'm ready for my old life after all. I know I should just get over it and be happy for god's sake, but I'm totally bummed. I'm going to miss the girl. I feel a little weird watching Arthur alone. This is how I feel in this moment, we'll see how I feel tomorrow after my first full day of freedom.
Here are some high lights of the summer.
FARM MADNESS

Chalk Outside the Museum Proud Soccer Girl
Proud Soccer Dad
None of this anxiety is helped by the fact that Roxy, my cat is on her last legs and has an ominous vet appointment tomorrow after I drop off Lydia for her first day of school.

Yes, I am the mom who kills the cat on her daughter's first day of school. How many years of therapy will it take to right that one.